This past weekend I wore a 2 piece to the ocean. I know, who cares, right? I have consistently tortured myself on a regular basis since I was 10. I hate saying I have always been a bigger girl, because that just means I am comparing myself to others. Any how, I was so comfortable, and I honestly did not care what other people thought, because when you wear a one piece to the ocean you end up with a bag full of sand in that swimsuit. Now that I live 10 minutes from the ocean I am learning how to be a beach babe, and that does not mean the shape of my body. My wife even made the comment about how proud she was that I wasn’t torturing myself anymore.
I have always been on this bettering myself journey, I had no idea why, but I have always wanted to be better. I have never been like, “I feel good here, lets relax”, until now! I try to take the present moment as it presents itself. In January I made “Stop shoulding on yourself” revolution. I have not really posted about it but I definitely have been doing it. Am I perfect? fucking never and I love that about me. If life was perfect, it would be so damn boring.
It has been quite the epiphany that I get to design my life, and that can be dangerous when your reaching outside of yourself for peace. I use to watch the tiny living shows and I knew my mess was always keeping my from a higher vibe. I have been downsizing for years but on April 11th, 2018 I set out on a new journey. 163 sq ft with the wife and our 65 lb dog. The first month was a honeymoon period and there was so much beautiful scenery but as the days rolled on, i became a little less thrilled with my tiny life. I love my job but the only place to sit was the bed, our power cord fell out on the way down there and destroyed our plumbing. So a walk to the shower and toilets plus no way to cook food and clean. It was camping and I got tired of sand between my toes. If I had to do that forever I would make it work, but I am so thankful I do not. There is so much more, but it isn’t important. All irritants that no longer exist.
We moved into our apt last friday, and we just love it!!! I don’t love leaving to travel for work but I love the job and believe every person I put my hands on are in my life for a reason and I want them to stay there if they are meant to stay, but I am ok if they need to go also. A couple times in my life I have been lost and thought I did not want to do hair anymore but a while back it came to my attention…..Being a stylist is just a precursor to what I am really doing. Have you ever sat in my chair and started feeling better, a physical symptom disappeared, or just your hair looked great? This is part of my healing modality and I am not going to push it away, instead I am embracing and building this little job of mine with my heart.
I want everyones heart to feel as open as mine is right now, it really makes life grand. Do whatever you have to do today to bring happiness into your life because your the captain. That’s right your in charge of your reality! You don’t like something..change it.
Some people may thing this is flighty or irresponsible but WGAF, at the end of the day you have to lay down with your choices and sleep at night. SWEET SALTY DREAMS!